Fitness Jokes

Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves! One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, “You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.” This was a bit [Read more...]

One liners

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children. My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, “your daughter” wasn’t the right answer. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. 3 people having sex is a [Read more...]

Christmas jokes

Why should you never mess with Santa? Because he’s got a black belt. A boy is running around his yard in early December, chanting, “I SO WISH I GOT A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!” An elderly man watches him go on for a while, then comes over and says, “Son, what is this about, Santa ain’t [Read more...]

Christmas jokes

An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it? Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend. What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time? A Holly Davidson. Two women are chatting, “I took my husband to [Read more...]

Christmas One Liners

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.   Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. [Read more...]

Jokes of the day – Relationships

  A girl tells her boyfriend: After our marriage I will let you kiss me where nobody else has kissed me. Where is that? In Hawaii A child asked his mother: “How were people born?” So his mother said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, [Read more...]
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